For a week, I went outside every day. I manage to go out for shorter walks. Sometimes twice a day. I started to go outside more often to try different types of stockings. I still haven’t got stockings that fit properly without hurting or breaking my skin.
I’m wearing short jeans or skirts when I go outside because I need to hoist my stockings. They won’t stay in place. Because of the Covid-19 restrictions, I’m only allowed to do so in the open air, so wearing long jeans doesn’t work because I have to take them off in case I need to lift my stockings.
On one of my walks, I was only able to walk to the lake, because of the pain in my leg and my lack of stamina. I sat down to meditate. With the meditation by Deepak and Oprah, I was able to go to my pain and give my leg all the love and attention it needs. Tears were running my cheeks during the meditation, and a lot of positive energy started running through my body afterward.
During the weekend I continued this positive mindset when my friend took my daughter and me to the beach and a park. I felt so happy, just being outside. Being on the beach and swinging in a park! I don’t spend my energy thinking about my loneliness and shrunken world and abilities, because it takes away my positivity. But this is the exact reason why I enjoy these little things so much.
The stocking company guy visits me once or twice a week to get me the right stockings. The last ones I got, gave me more space on my knees to avoid them coming down. I also got glue to stick them to my skin. In the picture, it’s the first time I wear the stockings with a tighter band to hold the upper tight in place. Even using the glue, they don’t stay in place. With more glue, they stay up better, but the knee part is moving up. Wearing these stockings makes me start to feel like Cinderella’s stepsister, trying to fit in over and over…
