The past weeks have been with ups and downs. It makes it hard to stay positive all the time. On my bad days, I can’t manage to keep my cheeks dry from tears. It feels like the saddest thunderstorm imaginable.

I’m still keeping my daily journal and making notes for my blog when I don’t have the energy to write. It’s one of my almost daily habits, healing by writing it away. The “H” in Jay Shetty’s N~I~G~H~T routine. And it helps me a lot because when I read things back, I realize it helps me forget the bad stuff happening in my life. I’m not devastated and fighting when I’m experiencing a bad day after a better day anymore.

That creates space for the positive things that I’m thankful for. Trying to read again and learning to use my brain differently. Playing with my daughter. Help from a dear friend lightens my daily routine and makes space to do fun things. Despite all my inabilities, I still manage to see my friends from the Resilient Future Travellers. Talking about resilience makes me understand and cope better with my disabilities and feelings.

After my afternoon nap, we went for a tour to see the flower bulbs bloom. It was a nice ride with a last stop at the beach in Noordwijk. We made a short walk in the sunshine, had a drink, and during our walk back to the car, it started raining. Sunshine and rain, just as in my life. You never know where and when the rainbow appears.

Written by

Daphne

DAPHNE IN STOCKINGS is a writer with a blog telling her story about surviving blood clots, living with FVL, blood thinners, and stockings. And coping with Covid-19 twice in 2020. She's telling her story about building resilience in a physical and mental struggle to heal.