Last year ended for me by writing this blog, hoping to make a fresh start in 2021. I needed all my energy to complete this before the end of the year, so that was the choice I made. I wanted to let go of the burden of 2020.
Months ago, when I had a bit of a balance in sporting, sleeping, and eating. I also meditated every day. I tend to lose this habit when I get overwhelmed in wanting to get things done with a body that doesn’t cooperate anymore.
After the holidays, I started to make timetables for every day. An intention to start this new year with. One schedule for every day, including exercise, meditation, and mental activities. By evaluating them every evening, I want to gain inside into what my body is still capable of. I’m aware that I find it difficult to accept that my body changed a lot this past year.
Yesterday was the first day. And I was already tired at 10 a.m. I tried a mental activity, but that didn’t work. After a walk outside and lunch, I tried again. I wasn’t productive anymore. The rest of the afternoon didn’t go the way I planned. Instead of doing something nice with my daughter at the end of the afternoon, I slept for one hour.
An experience like this feels like a setback, a failure, a disappointment in myself. I know I’m strong, and I needed to maintain trying, to find a balance to make my life fulfilling again so my body can handle it.
