This morning started with meditation from the Meditation Moments app. Because I know my own thoughts can stand in my way, I choose a meditation about cleaning up thoughts and let them go.
At first, I had to find a thought I wanted to get rid of. Then I had to imagine it to be captured in a soap bubble, flying away and exploding in the air. It seemed the feeling I wanted to get rid of, was stuck in my tummy. I couldn’t get it out in one meditation.
As every meditation ends with a quote, this quote told me to try as many times as I needed. So I started this meditation again.
The feeling I want to get rid of is the lack of feeling of added value for my company as my supervisor sees it, based on all the things that happened between us. Changing jobs seems the most obvious thing to do for many people.
Changing jobs isn’t possible yet because I’m still in a healing process. That means I feel stuck, and maybe the feeling got stuck in my tummy, because of how I’m feeling. The problem I’m facing with work is the problem that I want to solve because, like me, there are also children that are stuck in a non-functional system. That’s where this all started almost a year ago, on January 20th, 2020.
The app sends me a quote every day. It seems to be matching the things I’m facing every time. Today the quote of the day is: “Standing still for a while is a big step forward.”
The decision I made today is: Take it easy, get a timetable that is working in one week. Tell my supervisor about “Daphne in Stockings”, next mediation session. Keep going with the Resilient Future Travelers to define my added value better and to become the difference in education that young people and educators need.
