Changed

When I stumbled on the quote: “They said I changed a lot, I said a lot changed me”, I thought about the changes in me the past year.

Before Covid-19, I was an active woman. Besides a healthy lifestyle, I didn’t have to worry about my health. I had the energy to be an active mom, worked more than full-time, did sports several times a week, cooked healthy meals almost every day, and did my household, read every day…

Last week, I felt more energetic and tried creating a daily routine after trying it five months ago. After waking up, I read, meditated, ate breakfast, worked out on my spinning bike (5-10 minutes), took a shower, did little things from my to-do list, went for a walk of 1.8 kilometers, had lunch, and was tired enough to go back to bed. Even though I took breaks between the activities I had to take it easy the rest of the day. I had two amazing days, feeling a bit like my old self coming back. I hoped things would go uphill, and I would finally have the energy to make an appointment with my hairdresser in Rotterdam.

On the third day, I almost fell during a walk. Pain in my chest, trouble breathing, weak legs, dizziness, and feeling like I was drunk. Another reminder of how much freedom I’ve lost in the previous year. 😥 Why is this crazy virus having a party in my body? 🦠

As I still follow my MEDS. I’m happy with last months achievements. I slept 70 times, went for a walk 14 times, cooked dinner 15 times, meditated 10 times, got to ride my bike 8 times. My house isn’t as proper as it used to be. If I’m not looking at my floor, windows, or dust on the cupboards, I’m even happy with the times I cleaned my toilet, bed, shower, and kitchen. When I’m feeling too sick to prepare lunch or diner, I feel bad for not doing more for my daughter.

My body is unpredictable and hard to adapt to. What is this crazy virus triggering that makes it so hard for my body to fight back and make me healthy again? I’m choosing to be happy with my progress in dealing with a body that isn’t responding like I’m used to. Before I go to sleep at night, I review my day and think of all my achievements, unnoticeable daily tasks 14 months ago are milestones right now. Trying to be happy about all the little steps and progress I make in a day helps me to cope better and find happiness in life.

Meanwhile, I learned how valuable it is to find belonging and community. I found that with the Resilient Future Travellers in following my dreams in education (LinkedIn), Covid-19 groups in finding understanding (Facebook), and Genius for personal growth (Jay Shetty). Besides, I love to help others in their growth. I also experienced that receiving understanding in coping with the challenges life gives me helps me a lot.